Successful Parenting

-The Four Step Approach

Dr Geoff Thorley

                       New book launch - January 2006

WHAT IS THE BOOK ABOUT?

Dealing with difficult behaviour in children and teenagers can be part of the everyday challenge of parenting. While temper tantrums, defiant behaviour and emotional difficulties can all form part of a child's normal development, if such problems persist, they can damage family life and threaten the appropriate development of young people.

Successful Parenting - The Four Step Approach is a friendly and informative guide packed with practical advice and strategies to help you tackle these and many other problems. The book also offers a good understanding of the key skills needed to become a confident and effective parent. 

With over 25 years experience as a clinical child psychologist, Dr Thorley offers a unique step-by-step approach on how to deal with a variety of behavioural and emotional problems as well as explaining the theory and practice of good parenting. Using real life case studies and a simple effective approach, The Four Step Approach is an invaluable guide to help parents and carers through the long and adventurous journey of parenting.

HOW IS THIS BOOK DIFFERENT?

Parents are constantly bombarded with advice on television, in magazines and books on how they should deal with problems in children and teenagers. This advice is often about using various techniques such as rewards, punishment or improving communications. The trouble is, that however sensible the advice, all children are not the same and neither, for that matter, are all parents. This 'one size fits all' approach is not effective because, it ignores the importance, for example, of  a child's personality, social factors, parenting style,  parental attitudes and  parental values.

Dr Thorley has over 25 years experience as a clinical child psychologist dealing with common child and adolescent behavioural problems. He offers an easy to read, friendly and informative guide, giving practical advice and strategies, including some real-life case studies, for parents and carers to help them through the long, adventurous journey of parenting.

EXTRACTS FROM THE INTRODUCTION

"Parenting can be tough but never boring. I have always seen it as similar to a long, adventurous journey, during which peoples’ reactions to events and situations along the way make for either a pleasurable or miserable time for all involved".

"The process of parenting has never been a smooth one and probably never will be. It is foolish to blame parents for all of the difficulties and, still worse, to accuse them of moral ineptitude. Raising children goes beyond the responsibilities of parents alone – everyone has a part to play in the process. This is why I think parents need help, support, and understanding  rather than condemnation. I hope that this book will play its part in helping parents do a job, which if done well, benefits us all".

"Understanding the basic influences on how children develop into well-functioning adults is the key ingredient to effective parenting".

"Techniques are important, but in my view, are of limited value without an overall sense of parenting direction. This direction will be unique to each child, their parents or carers".

"There is of course, no rulebook or owners manual for parents to consult for any individual child. Instead, parents need  constantly to adjust their parenting to permit and encourage the promotion of independence and with it, social and personal maturity".

 

will I really be able to change my child's behaviour?

The most important feature of the book is  its aim of helping parents to develop skills to change problem behaviours and attitudes. Dr Thorley teaches scientifically proven methods which will enable parents to bring about change as well as ensuring that new problems don't emerge in the future. You don't have to be psychologist to learn these techniques! The book is not just about theory - Dr Thorley gives practical step by step advice on what to do about common problems.

This is what Dr Thorley suggests about giving praise.

·        "Be clear over what it is you want to praise or encourage. Don’t expect your child to “be a good boy or girl” over the course of a day. Be clear in your own mind what specific behaviour it is you want to encourage and let your child know what it is you want to praise.  

·        Be specific about what it is you want to encourage. This means avoiding global praise such as “good girl” or “you have been brilliant today”. Much better would be “Well done for tidying your room today as you promised” or “You have been really great in getting yourself ready for school by 8.00 am today” 

·        Be prompt in giving praise and encouragement. Praise and encouragement, like other types of reinforcement, work very much better when delivered immediately after the desired behaviour has occurred. Sometimes this is not practicable but as long as the delay is reasonable from your child’s point of view, the technique will be effective.

·        Be consistent by acknowledging and praising the child every time they display the desired behaviour. Again this is not always possible but generally be on the look out for the behaviour you want to encourage. The need for such vigilance is one reason why it is best not to choose more than two or three target behaviours for any programme of change.

·        Be effective by using appropriate praise and encouragement. Like other types of reinforcement, there are none that will suit all children in all circumstances. You know your child best and you should be able to gauge what types of praise and encouragement are effective for your child. Some young people are OK with gushing over-the-top deliveries of verbal praise whilst others will secretly wish that the ground would open up and swallow them. Remember that in giving praise: deliver it purposefully, directly in front of your child and not for example, in the form of an off-hand remark from the next room."

 

IS THE BOOK JUST FOR PARENTS?

 Dr Thorley writes:-

"I have developed THE FOUR-STEP APPROACH for parents and carers, whether they are struggling to help young people with mental health and behavioural problems, or simply trying to work at being good parents.  The book will also be of value to many other people, such as staff in the mental health professions, teachers, health visitors, school nurses and social workers all of whom are involved from time to time, in helping to resolve behavioural or mental health problems in young people. Many of the ideas in the book are well understood by those in the business of helping parents and young people. What I hope will be of particular help however, is the  Four Step framework for delivering therapeutic help and support".

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr Thorley is a Consultant and is Head Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychologist for one of the largest health districts in the UK. He is an honorary lecturer and clinical tutor at the University of Leicester. He has held postdoctoral research posts at the University of London’s Institutes of Psychiatry and Child Health and held honorary clinical posts at the Maudsley Hospital and Hospital for Sick Children, Great Ormond Street, London.  Dr Thorley has written over 20 scientific articles and book chapters and has a special interest in parenting issues, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and mental health disorders in young people. He lives in Cambridgeshire, is married with four grown up children and was a foster parent for many years.

WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS WILL THE BOOK HELP WITH?

Most young people present with difficulties from time to time and if persistent, will need solutions if they are not to interfere with healthy development. The book will be helpful for:

• Temper tantrums

• Oppositional & defiant behaviour

• Aggressiveness

• Sleep difficulties

• Feeding difficulties

• Negative attitude

• Emotional problems

WHAT ABOUT CHILDREN WITH MORE SERIOUS PROBLEMS?

The book will be helpful to parents with young people who have mental health and developmental problems such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Depression and Emotional Disorder. These and other disorders tend to make young people more vulnerable to further emotional and behavioural problems. These 'secondary' problems can often be worse than the core problems and so parents of children with such problems will find the book an invaluable source of help.

PURCHASING

Direct from the Publisher - UK and Europe

Order the paperback for just £7.99 including post and packing using your debit or credit card. A  downloadable e-book version is also available for a great price of just £2.99. Just click here to place your order.

Direct from the Publisher - USA, Canada and  all other countries

Order the paperback for just $11.00 (including post and packing) and $3.95 for the e-book version

Or, purchase from your favourite bookstore

Just ask for:

                                            Successful Parenting -The Four Step Approach  by Dr Geoff Thorley

                                         Published 2005      Bloomington,In:Authorhouse    ISBN 1420881493

For Further Information visit the Main Four Step Approach website by clicking here 

Last updated  28/02/2006